Whānau is a Māori-language word for extended family, now increasingly entering New Zealand English, particularly in official publications.
In Māori, it also has other meanings: as a verb meaning to give birth or genus.
Munting, well, this one's gonna set my wife off. JJ and those of you with delicate sensibilities, skip this, for your own sanity:
A variation of necrophilia involving two live people and one dead (male or female) To munt; Find and dig up a semi-decomposed corpse, One person then goes down on said corpse whilst the other jumps on the dead persons stomach - causing the juices (decomposed organs etc.) to be forced from all orifices, These are then drank by the person orally connected to the corspe.
Ok, you can start reading again.
I must say, other Sean and Richard must have a special relationship
Subject: How's the whanau?
Richard Atkins <****@rolfe-judd.co.uk> Mon, Jul 26, 2010 at 10:15 AM
To: Me
Did you get my text? Have I offended you? Have you turned off your roaming? Whatev's.
r.
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Sean Jackson Mon, Jul 26, 2010 at 2:45 PM
To: Richard Atkins <***@rolfe-judd.co.uk>
No, you've not offended me. I am made of sterner stuff than that.
Short in stature, tall in power, narrow of purpose and wide of vision and all that jazz.
Now, what's the happy hap?
Richard Atkins <****@rolfe-judd.co.uk> Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 3:37 AM
To: Me
All quiet. Matt's repaired his most recent munting. the fixie is at the frame builders. we had ribs at the weekend.
mark Cavendish actually is the fastest man on two wheels.... oh and I'd like some glasses, if it's no trouble.
Did you understand my textual instructions? I stress that under no circumstances should you go out of your way. If
you'd prefer, I can give you an advance.
r.
Sean Jackson Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 8:50 AM
To: Richard Atkins <****@rolfe-judd.co.uk>
I think we all know that Evel Knievel is the fastest man on two wheels. It's a scientific fact.
Now, glasses, are we looking at reading or drinking. I think I can make either of them work, but obviously you'll get more liquid into a drinking glass, while with reading, you're just going to be slurping the booze off the surface.
I think I understood your textual instructions, but I prefer to talk about your contextual instructions.
So, deep down, why do you want this?
Why is it necessary?
And if you're driving down the highway in a canoe and one of your square wheels falls off, how many pancakes can fit on the side of a doghouse?
That's a trick question. Ice cream doesn't have hair. I know, I know, we discussed no more tricks, after your last violent outburst, but I couldn't resits.
Richard Atkins <***@rolfe-judd.co.uk> Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 9:18 AM
To: Me
There are two possibilities here. Either you are hiding in the den, avoiding parent time by penning overly-long emails, or you are hiding in the den drinking blue label penning overly-long emails. I have my money on the former simply because even spell-checker isn't good enough to disguise drunken typing. But to answer your most important question, why? because shaz said i could, and you have to grab these opportunities with both hands when they present themselves (that is not a euphemism, I'm still talking about sunglasses). r.
http://www.oakley.com/pd/6453
Sean Jackson Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 9:31 AMAnd with that, I've not gotten any further correspondence. I wonder if he's actually called the other Sean to ask what in the hell he's doing to his children.
To: Richard Atkins <****@rolfe-judd.co.uk>
Ok, but those glasses aren't going to hold much blue label and it'll be a messy drink, but that's your call.
I was discussing with the fonz the other day the practicalities of drinking and parenting. And quite honestly, the two go hand in hand. If you get your kids drunk enough, you don't have to do much parenting. I find if you get them to about a .04, everything else takes care of itself.
Sometimes they protest, but if you hold them down long enough, they take it like a man. Even if they're a girl.
